What if children hate each other in the family? Social psychologist Margarita Zhamkochyan offers two ways to weaken the confrontation that will help children cope with hostile feelings, and parents will maintain self -control.
“At heart, I believed that the enmity between brothers and sisters is something that is happening to the children of other families, but there will be no this in mine,” writes the writer
and mother of two children Adel Faber. -Somewhere inside me there was a smug thought that I could claim the role of a sort of superma, which does not make any of the obvious mistakes that all other parents make, forcing my children to be jealous and envy each other. I would never compare children among themselves, I would never take someone’s side, I would never have a favorite. If both children know that they are loved the same, then why they will fight and compete? But they found because of what. As soon as they opened their eyes in the morning, then all the time, until the moment when they closed them, they solved the same task-how to make each other unhappy. This upset me and confused me. I do not understand what is the reason for this passionate, merciless and endless struggle with each other. Something was wrong with them. Or something is wrong with me?”
Like Adele Faber, many parents tell their bitter stories. And as a rule, they begin with their own childhood, their own bitter insults, which have not disappeared, despite the dozens of past years. It seems that a wounded child still lives in our souls. There are probably families in which the brothers and sisters get along very well and parents deservedly enjoy this happiness, but, alas, how many other families who begin unhappily every day.